Posted by: madamm | November 2, 2007

Separation Anxiety

I have nothing in common with Tertia Albertyn, the blogger from So Close ‘cept maybe that I am also female (and married) and we live in relatively close proximity to one another (based off of information on her blog).

Still, today she wrote a post about a sense of loss. She wrote about how difficult its going to be to let her little children go off to play school and for her to just leave them there. And immediately when I read it, I remembered what it felt like to just get dropped off like that. I mean, that’s literally 22 years ago. But I remember it. It was fucking awful.

I wanted my mommy every single minute of my time there. I used to run after our car, wailing and screaming. I did not want to play with the other kids. I wanted to learn how to tell the time. And when both hands were pointing upward on the same spot,  I knew that I could go home. And be with Marie (my nanny) and soon Mommy would be home too.

God, talk about separation anxiety. I was a textbook case I tell you. In fact, even now while I’m thinking about it, I am absolutely filled with trepidation at the thought of upping and leaving. I mean, obviously, I’ve dealt with my mommy issues, I used to live away from home for months on at least two occasions, for pete’s sake.

Still. I’ll never forget how scared I was to be without her. Fuckit, that shit can mess you up if you don’t learn how to be the boss bully get smart so people can respect you.

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Responses

  1. Shame MrsM, that awful!

    My mom was the one with anxiety when it was my turn – apparently I asked her to please go because I didn’t want the other kids to see her crying.

  2. Oh, that’s WONDERFUL!!! (and hilarious!!)

    I don’t remember my mom being sad, but in my later years she told me deep down inside she didn’t want to let me go. And she was EXTREMELY jealous that I learnt new things that she didn’t teach me herself.

  3. Haha,

    I remember it like it was yesterday!!

    I told her to please leave, they kept taking pictures and I got so mad, I just wanted her to leave me alone already…

    they developed the pictures a little while after and I tore them all up, because I told them to not take pictures and they did HAHA

    WOW I was a GREAT kid!! Such a role model

    HEHE

  4. I can’t remember anything. I was obviously not a very observant kid…

  5. Or maybe you were too busy having fun Toby. I did NOT have fun at creche. Blegh. I can’t describe how much I hated it.

  6. No, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the kid having fun. I was waaaay to serious as a child, that much I know. I wasn’t in creche for very long though. We moved so much during the first few years of my life that it didn’t make sense for me to stay at a creche. Perhaps explains my adult antisocial behaviour…


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