Posted by: madamm | October 18, 2007

Caring for an Orchard

Now there’s something I never thought I’d see myself do.

Caring for an orchard. For some reason whenever I say that out loud, that ad where everybody keeps shouting Dancing like a white guy comes to mind every time. I guess Im out of my depth here…

 I just went to a launch where I was sipping on some orange juice with the likes of Nicole Fox, minding my own business, when I get handed this beaut. In a mirrored box, nogal. Very schmancy. I drove all the way back to work with this Nancy on the passenger seat. She kept swatting me in the face as I blew smoke on her nodes. Typical.

Now Im here. Caring for an Orchard. And just like the white guy in that ad, I’m totally helpless. So I went online to check out how I’m supposed to care for this beaut of a flower/plant/thingie. But all Google gave me was a few hundred listings for old age homes. House of Orchard. Orchard Home. Caring for the elderly at Orchard Fountain.


Eventually I found a site that told me that I shouldn’t water my Phalaenopsis (in common parlance, this awkward I gots over here) every day, but rather every five to twelve days. Great. I’m gonna have to make a calender note to diarise these important days. These leaves also have to be dried with cotton wool. OMG. Talk about high maintenance!

It’s like an unplanned pregnancy, yo. Now I’ve got to care for it. With cotton wool and sieker some Johnson and Johnson’s baby oil in case any rashes break out. And I should feel privileged to have one, says one colleague, these babies don’t come cheap.

If you ask me, can Nicole Fox ma haar blom gehou it. But maybe, just maybe I’ll learn something about myself while taking care of this plant.I don’t dance like a white guy after all.



  1. It’s preparation for the baby… *Toby ponders what a mini-MrsM would look like*

  2. like that little girl on the Old mutual ad that says: Im awso free…the one with the curly hair…

  3. I’m going to look out for that. She’s going to be cute, that’s fo sure!

  4. my kid is going to be gorgeous!

  5. No doubt. With cute dimples and big brown eyes. En daai kind gaan ‘n bek op hom of haar het…you know Grandma’s genes en what what.

  6. Where did you get it?

    I love orchids but apparently they are a bitch to take care of!

  7. MrsM, I have had one too now for two month and have not yet managed to kill it.

    Allegedly, the way to go about it is to have it inside when flowering in a room that has natural light but no direct sunlight and water little bit once a week.

    When it’s done blooming you stick it under a tree outside and forget about it (if it rains) or water once a week (when it doesn’t).

    So far it seems to be working…good luck!

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