Posted by: madamm | October 10, 2007

Frazzled

Last night I had a burst of inspiration for a blog post that would be thoroughly entertaining. But the minute I came and sat behind my computer this morning, I had completely forgotten what that may be. I find myself a little frazzled at the moment. It’s been six days of non-stop toiling. Of sitting up and feeling like my eyeballs are going to pop out of their sockets. Of adjusting my bum this way and that in the chair in front of my laptop, letting out involuntary farts in the dead of night, lighting a cigarette now and then to review a chapter, feeling like there’s no way I can explain something and somehow finding a way to do so.

I know at least ten ways to say someone said something. Theories have been asserted, assertions have been maintained, counterpoints have been argued, proposals have been uh..proposed, some have contended while others have claimed.

I’m exhausted. But I still have twenty more days to go. I just hope it’s not all in vain. This has taken me two long years and it would absolutely devastate me if I had to find out it was all in vain.

I’ve often wondered why I signed up to do a masters degree in the first place. A small part of me must admit it was familial pressure to get all the studying done in one go, but I also wanted to complete something that sounded so distant…so far out of reach. I got married in the meantime and am just about on my way out of the country, but I’ve got to finish this thing. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t give it my best shot.

I also wonder about this degree and what it’s going to mean to me in the long run. of course, I am of the opinion that some employers may see it as an advantage, but then there’s that old guy who works here in his forlorn-looking clothes who sat down and once told me : Ek het ôk ‘n meestersgraaaad…dit beteken eintlik fokkol.

So much inspiration, I tell you. Whatever, this is my little quest for now. And I really want to do well at it. Even if it’s gonna mean fokkol when I’m 80.

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Responses

  1. Personally I see absolutely no point at all in my degree other than the fact that people think I’m slightly more intelligent than I really am due to it 😉

    I could be so much more further in my career than I am now if I hadn’t wasted those 3 years. But then again I did learn some interesting things … like

    a) how to get an amazing tan during varsity hours
    b) where the best places are on campus to get coffee
    c) some random astromy course taught me how to look at the pretty stars
    d) that art students and commerce students don’t mix well
    e) that it is completely possible to only open my notes the night before a final exam and still get a good mark
    f) that all film/media students are way to drama queeny for my liking

  2. I was a film and media student. This is going to sound daft…but i kinda …like studying.
    It’s taught me a lot (I can even recall arb info from watching Ben Hur and All quiet on the western front…) Hey, English lit was never the same after peter anderson. I think, after seven years, however…I need a break.

    You’re above average smart if you cracked books open the day before the exam. Im not that kinda smart.

  3. I’m not above average smart, well I wouldn’t think I was but just a really good bullshitter.

    All I really miss from student days is the fact that I didn’t need to function as an adult, pay bills etc. I dislike that part of “real life” 😦

  4. Just hang in there! You’re almost done…
    🙂


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