Posted by: madamm | August 14, 2007

Happy Wars

Now there’s an oxymoron I bet you didn’t see coming.

It seems both Toby and Gnome are bothered. In the existential sense to a large extent, but really also because there are quite a number of things that qualify as “irkables” (a-la-Gnome) when you’re in your twenties. Things, which I promise you, will not matter when you’re forty (my most quoted age).

The German psychologist Erik Erikson documented the stage we find ourselves in right now as the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage. Says Erikson of this stage: “The counterpart of intimacy is distantiation which is the readiness to isolate and destroy forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to one’s own…”

I’ve done quite a bit of distancing this year. And none of it had to do with the fact that I got married. I simply found that some people are taxing. And others were meant to flit in and out. My experience shows a few who have made promises they didn’t keep and others who turn an entire conversation into one long continuous exasperated sigh.

Though there are people who grate my last nerve, I keep close to my heart the few who make friendships worthwhile.

I trust few people. I prefer it that way.

Sometimes my mother is too interfering. Probably because I tell her too much.

Nobody has the answers except me. I have accepted that.

I’m okay with who I am. Really.



  1. Mmh. Yip. I’m bothered. Feels like I’m more bothered now than I ever was before. I do think, though, that it is mostly due to my unqiue situation and not cause of my (stormy) age. Or is it? I’ve never been a fan of general theories such as Erikson’s, but there really is some truth there…

  2. I think the twenties being a shit time theory is a good one, Mrs M. It certainly is filled with so many ups and downs!!!

  3. And then…gasp, last night I realised im like HALFWAY through my twenties, already and then I nearly had a fit. And its like I said about being tammy tightass, Toby.
    I don’t fall for the general theories either Gnome,but I really really really wish I couldn’t care about a damn thing and relax and not worry and not anticipate and not be disappointed…you know how it goes…right?

  4. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t care and worry, mrs m. I think it’s a great quality even if it is a bit taxing!

  5. I don’t wanna be me anymore.
    I don’t care anymore.Im Meanie MrsM.

    Dude, I don’t care about your lost shares.
    Dude 2, leave me alone with the flooring problem already.
    Lady, who gives a crap that its your birthday?
    Lady2, even if you judge me, you’ve still got big feet.
    you’re a doctor but you wrote the newspaper a letter about being “innie kaap with your kinners?” are you fucking serious dude?
    Who cares about stupid people.
    Everybody knows a bitch, don’t act as if you don’t.
    I don’t have respect for people who smell like the pub down the road the morning after drinking on the big boss’ account.
    I think the man who said SA’s woman are shoddy and fat and that he had to go and find a bride in Russia is a pimp manwhore. And his bride looks like a South African woman with nice nails.So there.
    It is not my responsibility to give money/anything to each and every street child I see- I need to live too.
    Some people I know really suck. As people.

    There. I’m all cared out now.
    That felt…good.

  6. Um… ha, ha, ha. *Toby holds on to chair to not fall over*

  7. I dare you to spew and spew and spew TOBES!!

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