Posted by: madamm | July 10, 2007

Familiarity breeds toilet humour

Woke up this morning to the sound of the house telephone…

Aaargh…what I would give for a few more minutes(!)…turns out, it’s my husband. He just wants to hear my voice. I haven’t received a just-want-to-hear-your-voice phonecall in a while, usually its just business and paperwork and can you get this form from this department and the congressman says this, so we’ll probably wait this long…it’s never about the voice. And we have yet to settle into the “arb”part of coupledom, where you’re so familiar with your husband/wife’s quirks it doesn’t bother you anymore.

When he called to hear my voice I became all warm and fuzzy inside. Being married just over four months, you’d think we’d still be cooing over the phone but for C and I, it’s a whole lot of admin before there’s any cooing involved. That is our reality.

So while he’s telling me how gorgeous I am (blush, blush, smile, blush) I suddenly get the urge. To go to the bathroom. I wait for him to finish another sentence about the gorgeousness of moi before I ask him to hold on for two seconds.

I rush off to the bathroom, I don’t even close the door (I’m alone, who cares), do my biz, grab the loo paper, chuck, flush and wash my hands before racing for the phone again.

On the other end of the line, I hear: “This is a pretty amazing phone…”

“Why?” I ask, staring at its apparent amazingness…

“Because not only did I hear every single step of your hurried walk to the loo, I heard you pull down your pants, pee-pee, sigh in relief, tear off the loo paper, wipe and flush the toilet..all very clearly…”

Suddenly I didn’t feel so gorgeous anymore, but let it be known that even over a long distance…husbands and wives can get familiar. Telephonically.




  2. I know right, I had to can at the silliness of it all!

  3. *Toby nearly falls of her chair cos she’s laughing so much*

  4. *MrsM was embarrassed that her husband heard her pee, but through the mortification, is falling about with laughter too.*

  5. what if MrsM had farted…or worse…ya know?

    UGH!!! *happy thoughts, happy thoughts*

  6. trust me, he will see and hear worse still to come.

    and so will you my dear….

    After 4 years of marriage, there’s not much I haven’t seen or heard.


  7. You guys are doing a great job of promoting marriage… *Toby smiles while pondering about peeing in marriages*

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