Posted by: madamm | July 4, 2007

Secure Hatred

I’ve never been an ungrateful person, but call me a callous bitch if you want, I HATE SECURITY GUARDS.

Most of the time, security guards, in my opinion, just stand around and look official. I think the only place, in my experience, where they do a decent job is at airports- but even then air hostesses get threatened at needlepoint.

Anyway, I hate the way security guards are never consequent with their actions. I hate the way they let you through one day and give you a Spanish inquisition the next. I hate the way they throw around their weight to remind you who’s the main konyn at the door/entrance/gate boom. It’s like they have to do it to remind themselves you, know.

I hate the way they glare at the commoners at the entrance to a club (well, that was my experience a few months ago- I’m not big on clubbing at all) and give sideways kisses to the skimpily-dressed vermin who call themselves VIP. I hate the way they think they’re so important when they stand there in their bomber jackets (okay, these are bouncers but still) and they won’t let you through because you refuse to bribe them with R100 or you just don’t look like someone they feel like arguing with today.

I hate them. And there’s nothing in this world that pisses me off more than their insecurities.



  1. Oe meisie, wat gan nou an huh?

  2. I didn’t get through into the SAME parking area I’ve been parking at for three days!!

  3. I hate those parking security dudes too!!! Hulle sal elke liewe fokken dag groet maar wil still taai wees!

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