Posted by: madamm | June 19, 2007

Slow Motion

I know why now.

I never understood it, but thanks to YOU magazine, I can carry on with the rest of my life never again wondering why I hurled Smoked Beef on Beanie on a trip to Namibia, or why I couldn’t contain my uh..bowel movements on a British Airways flight with colleagues to Johannesburg, or why when handed a mapbook in the passenger seat, I’d rather just die.

It’s not that I was trying to upset my sister (I mean, I would’ve cut a chunk of her long glossy hair if I wanted to do that) and I wasn’t looking for sympathy on that BA flight. Also, I’d love to find out where we need to be too, but I. Just. Can’t.

Because I suffer from motion sickness. In all forms. Since the beginning of time.

Loong road trips to Namibia = Hurled coke on Aunty Girly (that was really her nickname, don’t ask)

Find Mumsy’s lipstick in her bag while in the moving car= Major headache and wanting to remain stationary for the rest of the day.

Taxi ride home sitting facing the back of the taxi instead of the direction we’re going in= crack a window, I’m going to hurl (again)

Plane trip from Schipol to Heathrow with hockey teammates= emission of shallow farts to try and cope with raging nausea, stinking it up next to my sleeping mates.

Boat trip to somewhere in the middle of the ocean with classmates= singing songs from Mary Poppins before retiring to a cabin bed somewhere where I wouldn’t be too aware of the choppy waters beneath me.

I can’t read in a moving car and it’s difficult to forget that I am stationary in a moving plane too, which makes watching the in-flight movies near-painful.

According to an extract from Why do Kamikaze Pilots Wear Helmets? (Thompson) in the YOU, motion sickness is caused by conflicting signals being sent to the brain from the eyes and ears. When moving in a car or boat or plane, the fluid in your ear causes nerve cells to send signals to the brain informing it that you’re moving while your eyes indicate that you’re stationary.

I guess this means we were never supposed to move aside from running or walking at all…



  1. Or it’s proof that we should never move anywhere – we should just lie in bed and eat chocolate, read, drink and so on. It’s the way nature intended.

  2. I wholeheartedly agree

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