Posted by: madamm | June 13, 2007

Oompa Loompa secret revealed

I know where the Oompa Loompas are today.

The Oompa Loompas were the most enigmatic, amazing creatures I had ever encountered in my relationship with the written word. According to wikipedia they come from Loompaland and they are the only ones allowed to work in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory due to the risk of industrial espionage. The Oompa Loompas prefer only to get paid with chocolate (a loompa so close to my heart!) and they like to sing, as Roald Dahl’s infamous story will show.

I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but I’ve come to realise that Willy Wonka has outsourced the services of the Oompa Loompas in support of a greater cause- an alliance with the Yoonited States. The Oompa Loompas now work at Immigration Services. They are never seen. They are enigmatic. They send you cryptic messages. You can’t contact them. And they are highly secretive. Just like they guarded Wonka’s choccie secrets, they now reside in a new era of clandestine activity: US National Security.

It’s a highly professional service. No special treatment, the Oompa Loompa’s are one of a kind and are therefore unable to discriminate. They check the merits of your case. And criticise Americans. ( It is proven in the song: Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da …If you’re not greedy, you will go far…)
One fine day, I too will meet an Oompa Loompa. In Pretoria somewhere and I hope it turns out well.

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Responses

  1. I love the oompa loompas. That was my favourite book in the whole world when I was a kid. Then I went on to his adult stories. Now those are wicked!

  2. Like which one?

  3. The wonderful world of Henry Sugar. Kiss Kiss. Switch Bitch. Uncle Oswald…so many, so many…oh please tell me you’ve read at least ONE of the short stories.

  4. I’ve heard of the Henry Sugar book. Haven’t read any of those…only James and the Giant Peach/Charlie books and Matilda…

  5. No, those are all the children’s books. I’ll bring you a copy of some of his short stories. Oh child, there’s a gap in your cultural knowledge!

  6. Bringie goed


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