Posted by: madamm | May 4, 2007

Remember the time?

“You’ve been cleared ma’am”

In a country, where crime is becoming an increasingly popular sport, the SAPS have found that I am not a criminal. I’m so relieved. Cos the year was 2002.I drove away at McDonalds drive through. It was their own fault, you know.

I wanted an ice-cream cone. At that stage they only cost 99c. I don’t know why, I think someone told me they make the ice-cream with potatoes, but anyway, there I was, in line for an ice-cream. And out pops a hand with a brown paper bag at the last window. Now, you know there is no way, someone can barge through in front of me at the drive through to claim their bag of McDonaldy goodness. So I took the bag. And left.

I got a cheeseburger and fries for 99c. I felt bad about it for about two seconds while feasting on those golden brown fries. And then I wondered…what happened to my damn ice-cream?! There was no turning back for me, you know!

Aside from that, I am squeaky. I have nothing on me, mate. Only a R400 speeding fine. Just last night, it was pointed out to me, that in the year and one month that I have been the owner of my 2006 model Tazz (one of the last beauts to leave the manufacturing line!) I have received seven fines. Amounting to more than R2000. I’ve had some of them reduced by 50%, but there is no excuse for the latest one. I don’t even know what I was doing on the N2 that day. I never take the N2 anywhere- it’s really difficult to trace back your steps. I always think about that. Like, how the hell is an innocent suspect in a criminal case going to remember what he did on the night of November 4, 1998. You know what I’m saying? I can’t even remember where my caramel fishnets are. And I know I wore them last week. Go figure.

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